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Welcome to The Pretty Walrus (read the Hello page for an explanation on the name). I am Clare, married to David, and mother to Emily and Adam. The Pretty Walrus follows our journey from the UK to Malta to Dubai, and all our adventures along the way. Enjoy your stay!

Man to Man: A Letter from David to Adam

After Emily was born, David wrote up his side of the birth story. I asked him to write something for Adam too but we both forgot for a while. I reminded him again last week and here is what I found in my inbox last night. I absolutely love it and had to share it with you all. Enjoy.


"Hi little man – let me tell you a little story about how you came into this world

"You're nearly three months old now and you already know us … you know that when I put that cloth over my shoulder I am about to pick you up, and you smile. But there's plenty you don't know yet. You'll learn … those bright little eyes of yours miss very little … but let me take you back, to a place you don't remember …

"You were conceived in England and born in Malta … and your mother, from the day we had decided to move back to Malta, had one obsession. That she wanted, to the extent possible and medically advisable, to have you by a natural birth … no surgery, no fancy procedures … naturally … the way she had your sister. You've realised by now that you are a very lucky boy … you have a fantastic mum, and part of what makes her fantastic is a determination to do the right thing, to give you and your sister the best she possibly can … and that was, in her mind, a natural birth. She was very obviously born to be a mother, I know that and anyone who sees her with you and your sister comes to realise it pretty quickly, so as a mother she wanted to do what her body was made to do.

"One other thing you'll realise is that we are blessed with two amazing women in our family … and two amazingly hard-headed women. So I went along with what she wanted … not because I had to (although I did), but because she was right and because this was her experience. I was just along for the ride, to make her life as easy as I possibly could.

"I won't bore you with all the hassles we had before you arrived. One positive of all of those hassles is that we got to see you quite often and I for one was not complaining. But your mother was stressed, and I was stressed that she was stressed (you'll realise it's going to be a recurrent theme at home). 

"We were silly that night (and we still are many nights) and we paid the price as you announced that you would be arriving at around 3 in the morning. We were wide awake pretty quickly but we just hadn't had enough rest. We had your grandma over at 3:30, said goodbye to your sister (it was hard not to cry because she looked like an angel and her world was about to change … all our worlds changed … for the better … but your sister had no idea what was coming). 

"As we drove to the hospital we were apprehensive. Mummy wasn't in pain really and we had no idea what to expect. With Emily she was contracting regularly … with you it felt more relaxed … the contractions were bearable, we were chatting and the adrenaline just wasn't there to start off with. At 5 I was falling asleep, struggling to keep my eyes open, but then at some point in time a switch flipped. Your mother needed me. 

"You'll realise as you grow up that as a man you will have many roles, but the one I really hope you live up to is the role of the rock. The women in our lives are beautiful, impulsive, emotional, real … and as independent as they are (and believe me your sister will really be something) they will need a shoulder to cry on, a kind word (or a harsh one sometimes). That's where me and you come in, my little man … to help them be the amazing women we know they are, for those times when they just need that little reminder. 

"But I digress. The rest passed quite quickly. Your mother was a real trooper … she dealt with the pain fantastically, but you'll realise she has some really weird quirks. She kept crying because you weren't coming fast enough, because she needed a bit of help from the midwife … because it wasn't perfect … as if perfect was ever on the agenda (but then again, your mummy is a bit of a lot weird – take it from me). 

"But then perfect was front and centre of the agenda … because quicker than expected you turned up. And your father once again became a blubbering wreck. I cried, yes I did. You were a beautiful, healthy baby boy … your mother had delivered you the way she wanted to, naturally … there were no complications like there had been with your sister … and I could feel my heart swelling with love for you. And I mean swelling … because after your mother and your sister I was genuinely worried that I could love no more … until you turned up. It was like my heart grew … a heart that felt full with your mother and sister, just got fuller. I couldn't stop looking at you. I couldn't wait to see your sister fall in love with you … and fall in love with you she did. 

"Your arrival has made us complete. Thank you little man. For who you are, for your smile, for all you have done and all you will do, thank you."



I said it last time and I'll say it again, Emily and I are very lucky girls to have these strong men in our lives. 

7 comments:

  1. Awww that was beautiful x *wipes tear*

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  2. I think I just fell in love with your husband! And I didn't just burst into tears either - honest! x

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  3. This made me emotional! beautiful x

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  4. wow David! You are quite a good writer!! perhaps time for a DADDY BLOG?! Kle you are one blessed woman! I loved reading it. Miss you all. mx

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  5. "You've realised by now that you are a very lucky boy … you have a fantastic mum, and part of what makes her fantastic is a determination to do the right thing, to give you and your sister the best she possibly can … and that was, in her mind, a natural birth. She was very obviously born to be a mother, I know that and anyone who sees her with you and your sister comes to realise it pretty quickly, so as a mother she wanted to do what her body was made to do."

    There is patronizing. There is condescending. There is plain disrespectful. And there is this. A fantastic mum is measured by how she brings up her kids, and not how she gives birth to them. How ridiculous. Well done for reaching new levels of low.

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    Replies
    1. If you read that carefully, David did not say anything remotely close to what you're insinuating. He may even have had a different opinion to me - all he said is that I strive to do what I feel is best for my children and me as a mother.

      On the other hand, what I do consider disrespectful is leaving a condescending comment and hiding behind an anonymous name ;)

      Delete

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